Someday....someday I will look back and wonder why I was such a bundle of nerves leading up to every check up... I look at Lilybear, as she runs, jumps, and climbs. . . And still I worry that we will be told bad news at her check up. I try and tell myself that she is fine, and her feet look great, and still I worry. I fear that there is some tiny sign that I have missed. I wonder if I ever really have "forgiven" myself for Lilybear's relapse. Even though everyone says it wasn't my fault, I still have it on my heart that it was in part my fault.